OK--so it has been almost a month since I had my bloodwork done and stopped taking the Lipitor. I had not heard back from my Dr., so I put in a call to the office to get the results--guess what--they had not gotten them back! I go into panic mode--seeing as I had been off the Lipitor for a month now--what if I had to have the bloodwork done again--Oh boy, I'd be in trouble.
Well, I called and the office had to call and get the results from the testing facility themselves--they had ti, but could not give it to me directly--WTF--It's my bloodwork--idiots. Anyheew. The office gets the info and calls me back....
Mrs. Lurker? Yes, I say--whatever you are doing--KEEP IT UP! Your bloodwork came back AMAZING! My total Cholesterol is 134, the triglycerides are at 124 and my CK (Whatever the hell that is is 43). The only thing is that my iron is a touch low--but nothing to worry about. Sigh............
So, I guess the stupid Lipitor did what is was supposed to do. What do I do? I still have the script I filled before I decided to go off the stuff--so do I take it and see if the side effects come back? Or do I just keep up with the Fish oil , vitamin C and the fruits/fiber I have been eating???? I know she will want to run more bloodwork at my appointment in June---if I skyrocket back up, she will know I quit taking the stuff. I really wish I could have bloodwork done and see where I am at right now with just my diet changes, but that 's not going to happen. What to do, what to do...............
Next up in my medical world? MAMMOGRAM TIME!! Ugh--I have not had one yet and I dread it with everything I am--my mother and grandmother NEVER have had one. I decided I am going to have this ONE and then push it off for as long as I can. Cancer doesn't run in my family (except for my Dad's rare and weird thing he has going on)--it's our hearts that get us in the end--and I'm working on that. Why do I have to have my boobs smashed too?? UGH!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Birthday to my little girl
9 years ago today you were pulled kicking and screaming into our world. Everything changed, nothing has been the same and I am so grateful for it.
I love you baby--Happy Birthday!
I love you baby--Happy Birthday!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Mamma says Lipitor is the "DEBIL"
OK--when my cholesteral came back with a reading of "OH MY GOD", the good Dr. put me on Lipitor. OK I thought, what ever will bring it down right? But there was still this little voice inside me that said--"girlie--try it naturally first--eat more fruit and fish before you drug yourself up with more stuff."
I should have listened to my little voice.
About 5 days into taking the Lipitor, I developed an eye twitch in my right eye. I used to get them from drinking too much caffiene, but I have drastically reduced my caffiene in take since the beginning of the year--so I ruled that out, but didn't give it much other thought.--maybe stress who knows. Then about 3 weeks into the Lipitor, my back started KILLING me. I thought it was because I shoveled some heavy ass snow during our last big snow storm--but 3 weeks after the pain started, it was only getting worse--no pain relief would touch it.
I went for a regular check up and mentioned the back pain and the eye twitch to the Dr. She said that she was going to order some extra bloodwork to see what was going on--but to keep taking everything until she got the results back.
Well that was on the 9th--by the time I was scheduled to take have the bloodwork done (at the 6 week point of the Lipitor), my eye was driving me nuts and I felt almost crippled by the pain in my back. I had the blood work done and I decided to quit taking the Lipitor--screw waiting for the blood tests to come back.
Guess what?????
By day 2--no more eye twitch--it was totally gone. Today is one week later and my back pain is down to almost nothing--It was totally managable by day 4 off the pills and today I didn't even take any Aleve at all.
I refuse to take Lipitor ever again! I did some research over the weekend and found that Statins in general are causing WAY more harm than good--research is even pointing to early onset alzheimer's being caused by them.
Our body NEEDS cholesteral to repair itself--when the body is messed up, it makes more to fix it and the statins kill the CoQ10 your body needs. It's been advised to add fish oil, flax seed and TONS of vitamin C via fruits, veggies and fish (gee, didn't my little voice tell me that?) or via supplements. Since my diet does suck, I have bought the supplements and will give them a go and see how my blood work turns out the next time.
I also hereby promise to eat better and get off my butt to exercise. It's going to be hard, but I refuse to put Statins in my body ever again.
I should have listened to my little voice.
About 5 days into taking the Lipitor, I developed an eye twitch in my right eye. I used to get them from drinking too much caffiene, but I have drastically reduced my caffiene in take since the beginning of the year--so I ruled that out, but didn't give it much other thought.--maybe stress who knows. Then about 3 weeks into the Lipitor, my back started KILLING me. I thought it was because I shoveled some heavy ass snow during our last big snow storm--but 3 weeks after the pain started, it was only getting worse--no pain relief would touch it.
I went for a regular check up and mentioned the back pain and the eye twitch to the Dr. She said that she was going to order some extra bloodwork to see what was going on--but to keep taking everything until she got the results back.
Well that was on the 9th--by the time I was scheduled to take have the bloodwork done (at the 6 week point of the Lipitor), my eye was driving me nuts and I felt almost crippled by the pain in my back. I had the blood work done and I decided to quit taking the Lipitor--screw waiting for the blood tests to come back.
Guess what?????
By day 2--no more eye twitch--it was totally gone. Today is one week later and my back pain is down to almost nothing--It was totally managable by day 4 off the pills and today I didn't even take any Aleve at all.
I refuse to take Lipitor ever again! I did some research over the weekend and found that Statins in general are causing WAY more harm than good--research is even pointing to early onset alzheimer's being caused by them.
Our body NEEDS cholesteral to repair itself--when the body is messed up, it makes more to fix it and the statins kill the CoQ10 your body needs. It's been advised to add fish oil, flax seed and TONS of vitamin C via fruits, veggies and fish (gee, didn't my little voice tell me that?) or via supplements. Since my diet does suck, I have bought the supplements and will give them a go and see how my blood work turns out the next time.
I also hereby promise to eat better and get off my butt to exercise. It's going to be hard, but I refuse to put Statins in my body ever again.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sirrus Radio, I can't quit you--LITERALLY, I CAN'T QUIT YOU!!
OK when the new car was purchased back in '08 Sirrus radio was included for 1 year for free. DH renewed the following year because they had a good deal going to stay a customer.
This last year we had nothing but trouble with the damn thing--had to get "pinged" to reset the service at least once a month--it just became irritating. Then we got the renewal notice and saw that they wanted us to pay $179.00 for the "priveledge" of having their intermittent service. Um yeah--BIG FAT NO!
Anyheeew DH called back in December to say that he no longer wanted the service, what did he have to do? He was told that it would be noted that he wanted his service discontinue and that when the bill came, just don't pay it and the service will be shut off at the end of the contract date.
Very good.
Fast forward to Feb--when the service was due to end. Sirrus is still going strong (side note--the service has been working PERFECTLY since DH called to cancel--no pings needed, no mess ups, no break up, NOTHING). We come and go past the service date--Sirrus is still working.
Last Monday night we get a call from Sirrus saying that we owe them $179.00 and it's past due.
RECORD SCRATCH--WTF!!!!!!
Dh proceeds to inform the stupid ass on the other end of the phone about the conversation he had with "Dan" back in December (yes, I still had his name--I'm anal--I keep notes on EVERYTHING). Stupid ass says--why yes Mr. Lurker, we do see that note, but "DAN" had no authority to cancel your subscription.
REPEAT WTF???????
Then why is Dan answering the damn phone at Sirrus???????? DH asked and Stupid Ass really had no answer except for: Well, I can certainly stop your service, but you will owe us for the days you have "enjoyed" our service. Yeah stupid ass, I don't think so. We are NOT paying for service that we 1) didn't ask for and 2) TOLD YOU TO CANCEL 3 months ago!
Stupid ass said that there was nothing they could do about that and we had to pay the $27.00--at that point a supervisor was asked for. "MEGAN" ended up hearing the story and said that she would just take care of the $27.00 since we had so much "trouble" and to not worry about it--but our service would be turned off immediately. We said we were fine with that--we didn't want it anyway.
A few days ago we got a notice from Sirrus--"Please renew your account with us" A special rate, just for you--blah blah blah--right in the trash it went!
YESTERDAY I get a YELLOW envelope from Sirrus with "ACCOUNT PAST DUE" stamped on it--with a bill for $27.00. FUCK ME! I get on the phone and ask to speak with "MEGAN"--she of course is not available, but "Antoine" is happy to be of help. I explain the whole damn story again and he pulls up the account--all the info is listed there--with a note saying that we owe them nothing--our balance is ZERO. Then why in the hell did I get a bill? Antoine has no idea--just throw it away. No way in hell am I throwing that away--it's covered in notes of my call with "toine".
OH! 10 days after our call with Megan, our service is STILL on!
STUPID ASSES!
This last year we had nothing but trouble with the damn thing--had to get "pinged" to reset the service at least once a month--it just became irritating. Then we got the renewal notice and saw that they wanted us to pay $179.00 for the "priveledge" of having their intermittent service. Um yeah--BIG FAT NO!
Anyheeew DH called back in December to say that he no longer wanted the service, what did he have to do? He was told that it would be noted that he wanted his service discontinue and that when the bill came, just don't pay it and the service will be shut off at the end of the contract date.
Very good.
Fast forward to Feb--when the service was due to end. Sirrus is still going strong (side note--the service has been working PERFECTLY since DH called to cancel--no pings needed, no mess ups, no break up, NOTHING). We come and go past the service date--Sirrus is still working.
Last Monday night we get a call from Sirrus saying that we owe them $179.00 and it's past due.
RECORD SCRATCH--WTF!!!!!!
Dh proceeds to inform the stupid ass on the other end of the phone about the conversation he had with "Dan" back in December (yes, I still had his name--I'm anal--I keep notes on EVERYTHING). Stupid ass says--why yes Mr. Lurker, we do see that note, but "DAN" had no authority to cancel your subscription.
REPEAT WTF???????
Then why is Dan answering the damn phone at Sirrus???????? DH asked and Stupid Ass really had no answer except for: Well, I can certainly stop your service, but you will owe us for the days you have "enjoyed" our service. Yeah stupid ass, I don't think so. We are NOT paying for service that we 1) didn't ask for and 2) TOLD YOU TO CANCEL 3 months ago!
Stupid ass said that there was nothing they could do about that and we had to pay the $27.00--at that point a supervisor was asked for. "MEGAN" ended up hearing the story and said that she would just take care of the $27.00 since we had so much "trouble" and to not worry about it--but our service would be turned off immediately. We said we were fine with that--we didn't want it anyway.
A few days ago we got a notice from Sirrus--"Please renew your account with us" A special rate, just for you--blah blah blah--right in the trash it went!
YESTERDAY I get a YELLOW envelope from Sirrus with "ACCOUNT PAST DUE" stamped on it--with a bill for $27.00. FUCK ME! I get on the phone and ask to speak with "MEGAN"--she of course is not available, but "Antoine" is happy to be of help. I explain the whole damn story again and he pulls up the account--all the info is listed there--with a note saying that we owe them nothing--our balance is ZERO. Then why in the hell did I get a bill? Antoine has no idea--just throw it away. No way in hell am I throwing that away--it's covered in notes of my call with "toine".
OH! 10 days after our call with Megan, our service is STILL on!
STUPID ASSES!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Does it ever end?? and...you had it coming!
OH--so in the world of "Does it ever end?"--my Dad is back in the hospital. If my Dad and I had a Facebook status, it would be "It's Complicated". The relationship is polite and pleasant, but due to "crazy" in my growing up/formative years, it can also be somewhat strained. Things have been better over the last 10 years when I decided to let him back in my life by letting him know he was going to be a grandfather--we're working on things.
Anyheew--he also has a form of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma--it's not curable, just managable. As long as the tumors can be removed, they can manage it--once it's in the bones, he's done. They do a maintenance chemo on him every 6 months or so to keep it out of the marrow--so his immune system is weak. He had to have hernia surgery back in Jan--they thought it was a simple fix, but once they got in, they found 6 tears intead of one. The night after the surgery, he crashed--stopped breathing, the whole bit--not good. He was in the hospital for a week fighting infection and a build up of fluids. They sent him home with an arsenal of antibiotics and drain tubes. He has been dealing with this for weeks--keeps getting more drugs and never seems to get better. Well, he went back to the surgeon and he took one look at his stomach and admitted him directly to the hospital. It has been determined that he has STAPH!!!! SO they are going to have to go in and clean him out--more surgery ugh! I feel so bad for him to have to go thru all of this. His wife is very good to keep us posted on everything going on and I feel bad for her too. She is a good woman and they have been thru so much since they got married, but their faith is strong and they depend on it to get them thru.
On the "you had it coming" front: DD and I had to haul our ass up to a birthday party for 5 year old niece yesterday. She is the child of "you must spend money to prove your love" sister in law. The party was fine and then it came time to open up the gifts--they opened up everything from the guests and that went fairly quickly--all the usual kid crap. THEN it came time to open up the MOUNTAIN of presents left over that were from the parents of the child--I counted 25 gifts and then couldn't see the rest and gave up. The SIL could tell that the crowd was getting bored with the over abundance of crazy going on, so they decided to have Niece-in-law open up her "BIG" gift from them. There was a huge build up to this gift--that it had to be for last, because she would ignore EVERYTHING ELSE and go nuts when she saw this thing. Well, you could have heard a pin drop in the room when it came time to open up THE BIG ONE.
They bought their 5 year old a REAL ELECTRIC GUITAR COMPLETE WITH AMPLIFIER. IT was some limited edition Disney Hannah Montana Guitar--it weighed more than the kid and she couldn't even pick it up. NIL took one look at it, turned around and started to play with the SpongeBob bath set she got--demanding that she get to play with the washcloths! God love that little kid--way to go for the dollar sponge and ignore the $200.00 dollar gift!!! Needless to say the parents were doing everything under the sun to get her to play with it and she had no interest! That's what you get I guess.
Anyheew--he also has a form of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma--it's not curable, just managable. As long as the tumors can be removed, they can manage it--once it's in the bones, he's done. They do a maintenance chemo on him every 6 months or so to keep it out of the marrow--so his immune system is weak. He had to have hernia surgery back in Jan--they thought it was a simple fix, but once they got in, they found 6 tears intead of one. The night after the surgery, he crashed--stopped breathing, the whole bit--not good. He was in the hospital for a week fighting infection and a build up of fluids. They sent him home with an arsenal of antibiotics and drain tubes. He has been dealing with this for weeks--keeps getting more drugs and never seems to get better. Well, he went back to the surgeon and he took one look at his stomach and admitted him directly to the hospital. It has been determined that he has STAPH!!!! SO they are going to have to go in and clean him out--more surgery ugh! I feel so bad for him to have to go thru all of this. His wife is very good to keep us posted on everything going on and I feel bad for her too. She is a good woman and they have been thru so much since they got married, but their faith is strong and they depend on it to get them thru.
On the "you had it coming" front: DD and I had to haul our ass up to a birthday party for 5 year old niece yesterday. She is the child of "you must spend money to prove your love" sister in law. The party was fine and then it came time to open up the gifts--they opened up everything from the guests and that went fairly quickly--all the usual kid crap. THEN it came time to open up the MOUNTAIN of presents left over that were from the parents of the child--I counted 25 gifts and then couldn't see the rest and gave up. The SIL could tell that the crowd was getting bored with the over abundance of crazy going on, so they decided to have Niece-in-law open up her "BIG" gift from them. There was a huge build up to this gift--that it had to be for last, because she would ignore EVERYTHING ELSE and go nuts when she saw this thing. Well, you could have heard a pin drop in the room when it came time to open up THE BIG ONE.
They bought their 5 year old a REAL ELECTRIC GUITAR COMPLETE WITH AMPLIFIER. IT was some limited edition Disney Hannah Montana Guitar--it weighed more than the kid and she couldn't even pick it up. NIL took one look at it, turned around and started to play with the SpongeBob bath set she got--demanding that she get to play with the washcloths! God love that little kid--way to go for the dollar sponge and ignore the $200.00 dollar gift!!! Needless to say the parents were doing everything under the sun to get her to play with it and she had no interest! That's what you get I guess.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Progress!! and did I mention that I'm sick of Dr's already?
Well yippie yahoo!! My blood pressure has consistantly been in the upper oneteens/70--118/70 seems to be a popular number over the last few days! I think the doctor will be very happy at my check up next week.
Speaking of Dr's--I have my BP check up, the Gyno, the Eye Dr AND more bloodwork all to be done next week. I will be so sick of Dr's by next Thursday that I will want to puke. Literally just about every single part of my body will have the once over next week--waahoo! Crap--that's a lot of co-pays to shell out too. UGH!
In other not so exciting news, we survived the great "Griswald Family mini-reunion" of 2010 at Frankenmuth. We actually had a good time--with no bloodshed--awesome! My MIL sent a picture that was taken of almost the whole group in front of the "Cheez-Haus"--it's so totally tourist that I'll have to post it some time. The whole lot of us standing in front of a block of cheese and a mouse head--ROCK ON!
I also heard back from my neighbor about what went on with my "lack of" job offer. The chick in Germany--who my group would actually be reporting to had her 2nd nervous breakdown. The guy who was assigned to fill in for her whilst she spends time in a padded room didn't like the direction she was taking the group and has decided to restructure it--so everything truely is on hold for the time being. I wonder if I sent her a Zoloft care pacakge, she could get better quicker and get back to hiring me?? hmmmmm....but I REALLY like myself on Zoloft--think I'll keep it all for me :)
My sister and I have decided to take our girls to the American Girl Store in Chicago this summer--I cannot wait, but DAMN, Chicago is expensive to stay on the "Mile". We'll have to figure it all out--but it should be a great time--anyone with ideas of what else we should do while we are there, let me know--we'll be there for 3 days.
Ok--I'm out!!
Speaking of Dr's--I have my BP check up, the Gyno, the Eye Dr AND more bloodwork all to be done next week. I will be so sick of Dr's by next Thursday that I will want to puke. Literally just about every single part of my body will have the once over next week--waahoo! Crap--that's a lot of co-pays to shell out too. UGH!
In other not so exciting news, we survived the great "Griswald Family mini-reunion" of 2010 at Frankenmuth. We actually had a good time--with no bloodshed--awesome! My MIL sent a picture that was taken of almost the whole group in front of the "Cheez-Haus"--it's so totally tourist that I'll have to post it some time. The whole lot of us standing in front of a block of cheese and a mouse head--ROCK ON!
I also heard back from my neighbor about what went on with my "lack of" job offer. The chick in Germany--who my group would actually be reporting to had her 2nd nervous breakdown. The guy who was assigned to fill in for her whilst she spends time in a padded room didn't like the direction she was taking the group and has decided to restructure it--so everything truely is on hold for the time being. I wonder if I sent her a Zoloft care pacakge, she could get better quicker and get back to hiring me?? hmmmmm....but I REALLY like myself on Zoloft--think I'll keep it all for me :)
My sister and I have decided to take our girls to the American Girl Store in Chicago this summer--I cannot wait, but DAMN, Chicago is expensive to stay on the "Mile". We'll have to figure it all out--but it should be a great time--anyone with ideas of what else we should do while we are there, let me know--we'll be there for 3 days.
Ok--I'm out!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
My world according to JUNG
ESTJ
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)
It further explained me with this little bit of information:
organized, group oriented, focused, conventional, leader, emotionally stable, anal, attention seeking, planner, realistic, fearless, responsible, finisher, decisive, norm following, respects authority, punctual, hard working, stiff, self confident, thinks rules and regulations are important, follows the rules, clean, outgoing, social, content, does not like being alone, normal, regular, does not like weird or strange people / things - intolerant of differences, strict, disciplined, aggressive, assertive, content, happy, proper, formal, strict with self, meticulous, strong sense of purpose
Yeah--hit the nail on the head.
| ESTJ - "Administrator". Much in touch with the external environment. Very responsible. Pillar of strength. 8.7% of total population. |
It further explained me with this little bit of information:
organized, group oriented, focused, conventional, leader, emotionally stable, anal, attention seeking, planner, realistic, fearless, responsible, finisher, decisive, norm following, respects authority, punctual, hard working, stiff, self confident, thinks rules and regulations are important, follows the rules, clean, outgoing, social, content, does not like being alone, normal, regular, does not like weird or strange people / things - intolerant of differences, strict, disciplined, aggressive, assertive, content, happy, proper, formal, strict with self, meticulous, strong sense of purpose
Yeah--hit the nail on the head.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Life is crazy, but with Zoloft, you don't care!
**Wiping away cobwebs and clearing away the dust*******
Sorry for my lack of posting--I don't think anyone was too concerned---but this has been one crazy month for Lurker!
Work is, as usual, kicking my butt--it's hard out here to be a Project Manager during busy season. I'm running around like a chicken and I now have to start training a new Sales Rep next week--yikes. So much to do, so little time. I'm back to 40 hours a week thank God--I need the money and the hours in the day to get things done.
In other news, I finally decided to go to the doctor about my racing heart and anxiety issues. There is a reason I never go to the doctor unless I am dying--it's because they find crap wrong with you!!!!
I have gone from a 41 year old to a 61 year old seemingly over night. From taking only one itty bitty birthcontrol pill a day for the last million years to now taking blood pressure pills, Lipitor, Zoloft and the BC every day! What the hell! You might as well get me a cane or one of those walker things--except I'm super lazy, so go ahead and just order me the hover round scooter!
My blood pressure is 150's/90's! Yikes!! My Cholesterol is in the 240 range--with the good stuff being only 44. I'm falling apart. The good news is that after 3 weeks on the Metoprolol, my BP is down to the 130's/70's which is much improved, but I have to get that top number down still. I don't get the Cholesterol checked until the middle of March, but I'll keep you posted. The BEST part though is the Zoloft!!! Mamma doesn't give a SHIT about anything anymore--it's AWESOME!
I think that more than anything has helped my blood pressure--I just don't have the anxiety and worries and the "Crazy" going on anymore. I miss this person--I remember her-- and it's been a while since I've had her good company. The last 2-3 years of my life have been so full of stress and worry but I feel like I have a better grip on things now. I felt like such a failure having to go on "nerve pills", but my doctor told me that it's nothing to be ashamed of--why live a miserable life when there are ways to help you? I agree!!
ON the work front, I've had some bummer news--well, not with my current job, but with a potential job. I got a lead in on a great opportunity and went thru the ringer with phone interview, in person interview and then a 3 hour panel interview only to get a call last night that they are not currently going to fill the position.
WTF!
Excuse me--if I sucked or wasn't the right fit--just come out and tell me. I have my big girl panties on, I can deal with it. I know there are people more qualified or better than I am--just don't pull bullshit on me. I was told that due to some "just decided upon" restructuring, they are not in a position to fill the job right now--if that is true, I think I'm even more pissed than being told I suck. I mean, I put a LOT of effort into these multiple job interviews and even burned a vacation day. I know I was not the only person who interviewed either--so they wasted the time of many other people--including internal people who had to take the time to meet with us. Whatever--maybe it was just not meant to be.
I'll take the learning experience for what it's like out there to interview in these kind of times--I have not had an interview in 11 years, so it was quite an eye opener to see how things have changed.
In family news, we are getting together with the outlaws--EVERYONE--for the first time this weekend since all the shit went down around the holidays. There is a mini family reunion going on--God help me, I REALLY need to be drunk for this--but I'm not supposed to drink that much on these meds--God is REALLY testing me with this. So that will be for some interesting fodder for another blog post. I promise not to take a month to come back!!!
Sorry for my lack of posting--I don't think anyone was too concerned---but this has been one crazy month for Lurker!
Work is, as usual, kicking my butt--it's hard out here to be a Project Manager during busy season. I'm running around like a chicken and I now have to start training a new Sales Rep next week--yikes. So much to do, so little time. I'm back to 40 hours a week thank God--I need the money and the hours in the day to get things done.
In other news, I finally decided to go to the doctor about my racing heart and anxiety issues. There is a reason I never go to the doctor unless I am dying--it's because they find crap wrong with you!!!!
I have gone from a 41 year old to a 61 year old seemingly over night. From taking only one itty bitty birthcontrol pill a day for the last million years to now taking blood pressure pills, Lipitor, Zoloft and the BC every day! What the hell! You might as well get me a cane or one of those walker things--except I'm super lazy, so go ahead and just order me the hover round scooter!
My blood pressure is 150's/90's! Yikes!! My Cholesterol is in the 240 range--with the good stuff being only 44. I'm falling apart. The good news is that after 3 weeks on the Metoprolol, my BP is down to the 130's/70's which is much improved, but I have to get that top number down still. I don't get the Cholesterol checked until the middle of March, but I'll keep you posted. The BEST part though is the Zoloft!!! Mamma doesn't give a SHIT about anything anymore--it's AWESOME!
I think that more than anything has helped my blood pressure--I just don't have the anxiety and worries and the "Crazy" going on anymore. I miss this person--I remember her-- and it's been a while since I've had her good company. The last 2-3 years of my life have been so full of stress and worry but I feel like I have a better grip on things now. I felt like such a failure having to go on "nerve pills", but my doctor told me that it's nothing to be ashamed of--why live a miserable life when there are ways to help you? I agree!!
ON the work front, I've had some bummer news--well, not with my current job, but with a potential job. I got a lead in on a great opportunity and went thru the ringer with phone interview, in person interview and then a 3 hour panel interview only to get a call last night that they are not currently going to fill the position.
WTF!
Excuse me--if I sucked or wasn't the right fit--just come out and tell me. I have my big girl panties on, I can deal with it. I know there are people more qualified or better than I am--just don't pull bullshit on me. I was told that due to some "just decided upon" restructuring, they are not in a position to fill the job right now--if that is true, I think I'm even more pissed than being told I suck. I mean, I put a LOT of effort into these multiple job interviews and even burned a vacation day. I know I was not the only person who interviewed either--so they wasted the time of many other people--including internal people who had to take the time to meet with us. Whatever--maybe it was just not meant to be.
I'll take the learning experience for what it's like out there to interview in these kind of times--I have not had an interview in 11 years, so it was quite an eye opener to see how things have changed.
In family news, we are getting together with the outlaws--EVERYONE--for the first time this weekend since all the shit went down around the holidays. There is a mini family reunion going on--God help me, I REALLY need to be drunk for this--but I'm not supposed to drink that much on these meds--God is REALLY testing me with this. So that will be for some interesting fodder for another blog post. I promise not to take a month to come back!!!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Common Courtesy Rules ......
Common Courtesy Rules Because My Ass Has Had Enough of YOURS!!!!
1. If you're in the left lane, and everybody's passing you on the right,
that means you need to get the fuck out of the left lane, genius.
2. If you stop to talk in the store, get your fat ass out of the middle
of the aisle. If you don't, and someone politely says, "Excuse me" to
get through, you have no right to look at them like they just shit in
your coffee.
3. Walk on the right side of the aisle. Works like a charm, just
like they taught you in kindergarten.
4. If you're stuck in a line of cars behind someone who needs to read
rule number one above, but you're not the poor slob right behind the
asshole, tailgating, flashing your high-beams, hitting the horn or
giving the finger will not help. The poor slob that's in front of you can't go
any faster than the shithead in front of him. Chill the fuck out.
5. Hang the fuck up and drive.
6. Four-wheel drive means you can probably get going when it's snowing.
However, it doesn't mean that you can stop, nor does it give you the
right to drive like a fucking maniac and cause problems for people who don't
have four wheel drive.
7. If you're someone who can't buy a clue and still has to drive in the
left lane all the time because you're afraid to change lanes, stay the
fuck home or ride the damn bus.
8. The next time you cut a corner, rather than turning into your own
lane, realize that if you're in an accident, it will be your fault.
More importantly, if you hit someone and you're not injured in the accident,
don't be surprised if they beat the shit out of you for being stupid.
9. If it's raining, or snowing, or foggy, or dark, turn your headlights
on, and use the low beams. High beams just reflect the fog, blind the
other drivers, and prove to the world that you're a stupid fuck.
1. If you're in the left lane, and everybody's passing you on the right,
that means you need to get the fuck out of the left lane, genius.
2. If you stop to talk in the store, get your fat ass out of the middle
of the aisle. If you don't, and someone politely says, "Excuse me" to
get through, you have no right to look at them like they just shit in
your coffee.
3. Walk on the right side of the aisle. Works like a charm, just
like they taught you in kindergarten.
4. If you're stuck in a line of cars behind someone who needs to read
rule number one above, but you're not the poor slob right behind the
asshole, tailgating, flashing your high-beams, hitting the horn or
giving the finger will not help. The poor slob that's in front of you can't go
any faster than the shithead in front of him. Chill the fuck out.
5. Hang the fuck up and drive.
6. Four-wheel drive means you can probably get going when it's snowing.
However, it doesn't mean that you can stop, nor does it give you the
right to drive like a fucking maniac and cause problems for people who don't
have four wheel drive.
7. If you're someone who can't buy a clue and still has to drive in the
left lane all the time because you're afraid to change lanes, stay the
fuck home or ride the damn bus.
8. The next time you cut a corner, rather than turning into your own
lane, realize that if you're in an accident, it will be your fault.
More importantly, if you hit someone and you're not injured in the accident,
don't be surprised if they beat the shit out of you for being stupid.
9. If it's raining, or snowing, or foggy, or dark, turn your headlights
on, and use the low beams. High beams just reflect the fog, blind the
other drivers, and prove to the world that you're a stupid fuck.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Getting over it....and the beginning of 2010
OK--so in a previous post, it was discussed that there had been a "meeting of the minds" between the hubster and the outlaws. I guess they have decided that, yes, they have ignored DD enough and they will try and be better grandparents.
It has also been decided (by them) that I will just "exist" as something they have to deal with. I will be the "elephant in the room" if you will. They will not make direct contact with me--as they feel that I am actually the one to blame for everything--but will deal with me on an as needed basis. I have big enough shoulders to accept this burden so that my husband and daughter can have a relationship with them. It's fine with me actually. We all know where we stand now and that is cool.
They stopped by on their way down to Indy for Christmas--they spent about 2 hours here--giving DD her presents and we then went to lunch and off they went. They called on Christmas day--spoke to DD when she answered the phone, spoke to DH and that was that. You would be proud of me--I didn't ask a single thing about what they said--I'm playing my role very well.
In other piss me off news--our furnace is doing stupid crap again and I have a call into the repair dudes--it's not an emergency at this point, but they better call me first thing tomorrow or I will find someone else to come out. I'm sick of this damn house crap--our builder SUCKS and used cheap crap. I don't have 5K for a new furnace, but by the time I do all these damn repairs, I might have well just bought a new/better one. Oh--did I mention that the warranty on the parts they put in when it died last time just expired--F My Life! It's 8 freaking degrees here and I don't dare keep the furnace over 65 degrees or it never shuts off--I think something is wrong with the thermostat--that should cost a pretty penny.
BFF fell and broke her shoulder at work the other night---this was supposed to be a better year for her--some great new changes coming soon, but it seems like 2009 had some left over shit to throw her way. 2010 is supposed to be better right? Not so far. UGH!
My anxiety is running at full throttle as well. I know I have to get to the doctor to deal with the heart crazy I have been having....no pain, but I am sure my blood pressure is out of control and I keep having times of where it feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest.-- I'm a scared to go, heart issues run in the family and I don't really want to hear that I have them too. I've lost and kept off 35lbs and I don't think that helped me one bit--I didn't have these problems before, but now it's just crazy.
Some people (ie my family members) have suggested that I would have a better outlook and a way to deal with the stresses in my life if I just improved my relationship with God. Um OK. In over 8 years, I have only set foot in a church for funerals/weddings and one time at a homeless shelter I volunteered at. I'm not sure that I am a religious person anymore. I believe in God, I feel "spiritual", but I am not sure the arms of the Catholic church are where I can find solace anymore. I'm not even sure that so called organized religion is for me--hard line churches don't appeal, "feel good" churches seem more "culty" to me that anything. I'm not sure what I am looking for.
My Grandmother is on my ass because I had DD baptised Catholic and I am not pursuing any religious instruction for her--the woman is 94 years old and does not understand that I no longer agree with the doctrine and will not force my DD into something that I cannot agree with. UGH--it sucks--and the guilt I get thrown at me as the oldest grandchild is worse--Catholic guilt is right up there with Jewisih guilt sometimes.
So that is what has been going on for the last week. I'm not setting any resolutions for this year--but I would like to add to my weight loss number--and DEFINATELY not add any gain. I hope that your 2010 is going well and that this is a great year for us all.
It has also been decided (by them) that I will just "exist" as something they have to deal with. I will be the "elephant in the room" if you will. They will not make direct contact with me--as they feel that I am actually the one to blame for everything--but will deal with me on an as needed basis. I have big enough shoulders to accept this burden so that my husband and daughter can have a relationship with them. It's fine with me actually. We all know where we stand now and that is cool.
They stopped by on their way down to Indy for Christmas--they spent about 2 hours here--giving DD her presents and we then went to lunch and off they went. They called on Christmas day--spoke to DD when she answered the phone, spoke to DH and that was that. You would be proud of me--I didn't ask a single thing about what they said--I'm playing my role very well.
In other piss me off news--our furnace is doing stupid crap again and I have a call into the repair dudes--it's not an emergency at this point, but they better call me first thing tomorrow or I will find someone else to come out. I'm sick of this damn house crap--our builder SUCKS and used cheap crap. I don't have 5K for a new furnace, but by the time I do all these damn repairs, I might have well just bought a new/better one. Oh--did I mention that the warranty on the parts they put in when it died last time just expired--F My Life! It's 8 freaking degrees here and I don't dare keep the furnace over 65 degrees or it never shuts off--I think something is wrong with the thermostat--that should cost a pretty penny.
BFF fell and broke her shoulder at work the other night---this was supposed to be a better year for her--some great new changes coming soon, but it seems like 2009 had some left over shit to throw her way. 2010 is supposed to be better right? Not so far. UGH!
My anxiety is running at full throttle as well. I know I have to get to the doctor to deal with the heart crazy I have been having....no pain, but I am sure my blood pressure is out of control and I keep having times of where it feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest.-- I'm a scared to go, heart issues run in the family and I don't really want to hear that I have them too. I've lost and kept off 35lbs and I don't think that helped me one bit--I didn't have these problems before, but now it's just crazy.
Some people (ie my family members) have suggested that I would have a better outlook and a way to deal with the stresses in my life if I just improved my relationship with God. Um OK. In over 8 years, I have only set foot in a church for funerals/weddings and one time at a homeless shelter I volunteered at. I'm not sure that I am a religious person anymore. I believe in God, I feel "spiritual", but I am not sure the arms of the Catholic church are where I can find solace anymore. I'm not even sure that so called organized religion is for me--hard line churches don't appeal, "feel good" churches seem more "culty" to me that anything. I'm not sure what I am looking for.
My Grandmother is on my ass because I had DD baptised Catholic and I am not pursuing any religious instruction for her--the woman is 94 years old and does not understand that I no longer agree with the doctrine and will not force my DD into something that I cannot agree with. UGH--it sucks--and the guilt I get thrown at me as the oldest grandchild is worse--Catholic guilt is right up there with Jewisih guilt sometimes.
So that is what has been going on for the last week. I'm not setting any resolutions for this year--but I would like to add to my weight loss number--and DEFINATELY not add any gain. I hope that your 2010 is going well and that this is a great year for us all.
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