Sorry about the lack of posting--I've just been such a debbie downer that I didn't even have the heart to write anything--and nothing has really been going on anyway--so--whatever.
Tomorrow is the day I walk into my attorney's office to sign the final dissolution agreement so we can get it submitted to the courts. FINALLY. Months of bullshit and petty negotiations (on STBX's part) have finally come together and we can put this mess to bed.
Once it's submitted to the court, we have to wait for a hearing date--so, while nothing is FINAL, FINAL, we are this last step towards closure.
Closure to over 23 years of marriage--not all good, not all bad--it just died a quiet death and STBX had to start the cheating--oh well, it is what it is.
I'm not angry anymore, I'm just sad for what SHOULD have been for my daughter. Now she adjusts to a life of split days with parents, split holidays and being jerked from place to place. It really bothers me--FOR HER. I didn't go thru it when my parents divorced--my Dad could not have cared less if he saw us or not and this was back in the 70's/80's where Mom got custody and that really was it--you saw dad when he could squeeze you in--and in my dad's case, it wasn't very often. Which sucks, but at least you know where you are going to be all the time. My poor kid rotates around every weekend and then had to do it again one night a week. I feel bad for her and so pissed at the x for making it this way.
I would not want to have him back to just have a "simpler" life for my kid, because that atmosphere wasn't any good either--so it's just a tough place to be. But I wish he would just realize that he made this mess--he should be the only one who suffers for it.
Oh well--wish me luck tomorrow.....