Friday, February 19, 2010

Life is crazy, but with Zoloft, you don't care!

**Wiping away cobwebs and clearing away the dust*******

Sorry for my lack of posting--I don't think anyone was too concerned---but this has been one crazy month for Lurker!

Work is, as usual, kicking my butt--it's hard out here to be a Project Manager during busy season. I'm running around like a chicken and I now have to start training a new Sales Rep next week--yikes. So much to do, so little time. I'm back to 40 hours a week thank God--I need the money and the hours in the day to get things done.

In other news, I finally decided to go to the doctor about my racing heart and anxiety issues. There is a reason I never go to the doctor unless I am dying--it's because they find crap wrong with you!!!!

I have gone from a 41 year old to a 61 year old seemingly over night. From taking only one itty bitty birthcontrol pill a day for the last million years to now taking blood pressure pills, Lipitor, Zoloft and the BC every day! What the hell! You might as well get me a cane or one of those walker things--except I'm super lazy, so go ahead and just order me the hover round scooter!

My blood pressure is 150's/90's! Yikes!! My Cholesterol is in the 240 range--with the good stuff being only 44. I'm falling apart. The good news is that after 3 weeks on the Metoprolol, my BP is down to the 130's/70's which is much improved, but I have to get that top number down still. I don't get the Cholesterol checked until the middle of March, but I'll keep you posted. The BEST part though is the Zoloft!!! Mamma doesn't give a SHIT about anything anymore--it's AWESOME!

I think that more than anything has helped my blood pressure--I just don't have the anxiety and worries and the "Crazy" going on anymore. I miss this person--I remember her-- and it's been a while since I've had her good company. The last 2-3 years of my life have been so full of stress and worry but I feel like I have a better grip on things now. I felt like such a failure having to go on "nerve pills", but my doctor told me that it's nothing to be ashamed of--why live a miserable life when there are ways to help you? I agree!!

ON the work front, I've had some bummer news--well, not with my current job, but with a potential job. I got a lead in on a great opportunity and went thru the ringer with phone interview, in person interview and then a 3 hour panel interview only to get a call last night that they are not currently going to fill the position.


Excuse me--if I sucked or wasn't the right fit--just come out and tell me. I have my big girl panties on, I can deal with it. I know there are people more qualified or better than I am--just don't pull bullshit on me. I was told that due to some "just decided upon" restructuring, they are not in a position to fill the job right now--if that is true, I think I'm even more pissed than being told I suck. I mean, I put a LOT of effort into these multiple job interviews and even burned a vacation day. I know I was not the only person who interviewed either--so they wasted the time of many other people--including internal people who had to take the time to meet with us. Whatever--maybe it was just not meant to be.

I'll take the learning experience for what it's like out there to interview in these kind of times--I have not had an interview in 11 years, so it was quite an eye opener to see how things have changed.

In family news, we are getting together with the outlaws--EVERYONE--for the first time this weekend since all the shit went down around the holidays. There is a mini family reunion going on--God help me, I REALLY need to be drunk for this--but I'm not supposed to drink that much on these meds--God is REALLY testing me with this. So that will be for some interesting fodder for another blog post. I promise not to take a month to come back!!!


Kelley said...

Yep, you are being tested! But I think you will make it through just fine. Pop an extra zoloft and let it go! Hang in there, I'm thinking of you!

Lurker Girl said...

Comment #1: MA! Is that you????

maniacski said...

Zoloft or Zanax same thing been living on them for will be fine but in the mean time I will be sending you a scooter pamphlet enjoy....It is scary how we are all falling apart....

Anonymous said...

Being drunk is the only way to attend a "family" reunion of yours. I hear ya! Jeannie