Inspired!

Kelley--you have inspired me to clean up the house a little bit and freshen up the blog. So forgive the mess and the changes going on--I'll be playing a bit with the blog layout and seeing if there is anything I think is worth keeping around.

I'm tired of the old look and need something fresh for the coming Springtime--Spring IS coming right? Please God, tell me it's just around the corner!!!!

What Office Supply am I ??????

You Are a Calculator

No matter what someone tells you, you're likely to focus on facts and data. You're a highly analytic person. You are only concerned with what you can know for sure. You look at situations objectively, and you have no problem approaching problems from multiple angles. You would make a good analyst or investment banker. You are confident enough to make tough calls and hard decisions.

What Office Supply Are You?

Happy Blogaversary to ME

Wow--one year ago I started this little peek into my insane mind. You know what--I didn't think I would actually do it this long. Not that I post all the time or have great thoughts or insight, but it's been fun and place to "get it all out" sometimes

So--Happy Blogaversary to me!!!

Oh and for God's sake--will it EVER warm up around here? IT was -6 this morning with the wind chills lower than -20. I'm sick of seeing the 6 FEET of snow piled at the end of my driveway from shoveling--I'm tired of snow in general--I'm sick of winter! Blech. End Rant.

25 Random Things--FACEBOOK

OK--I'm on Facebook--and got tagged--thought I'd share this here too. Do you Facebook?

1) I am an "A" type personality Virgo. For those of you who know me--this is a big old "DUH"

2) This June, I will be married for 20 YEARS--holy cow!

3) I love Lucky Charms cereal

4) I don't have a Gall Bladder anymore

5) When I was 17 years old, I was left home alone for the weekend, I threw one HELL of a party and was still finding beer caps behind furniture a week later.

6) The summer I was 16 a friend and I and her boyfriend got on a plane, flew to Florida for the afternoon and came back the same day. All on his dad's credit card. Guy was 23 years old--why I am not dead by now, I will never know.

7) I will never be able to have the "NO Drugs" talk with my kid--thank God I married a saint so he can do it.

8) I am obsessed with the Twilight Books

9) I like to drive REALLY fast--for those of you who "get it"--I drive like a Cullen

10) I do not drive (too) fast when others are in the car with me--I value their lives more than my own

11) I love pretty much any type of fruit

12) I had a C-Section with my daughter after 26 hours of what is now known as the "labor & Delivery from hell" I don't share my birth stories with "1st timers" too scary.

13) I have worked at my same job for 10 years as of March 15th

14) I wish I had gone to Nursing School--any free money out there for me to go back?

15) I despise Cats

16) I miss my "firstborn" Cocker Spaniel Maverick all the time--he's been gone for almost 4 years.

17) I find my New Dog Chase only tolerable

18) I want to live in Austrailia someday--or at least vacation there for a month

19) I cannot sing to save my soul

20) I cannot draw a straight line with a ruler

21) My best friend is in Florida and I miss her every day. She's going thru some crap and I so want to be there for her. DESPERATELY want to be there for her.

22) I love my "Village Peeps" so much--they have blessed my life in many ways

23) I believe in God the Almighty, but I consider myself a religious "Free Agent"--no ties to any one group, but I believe and I pray daily

24) I can still do shots of Tequilia

25) I took a ROADTRIP with my BFF to Quantico, VA back in '87--our friend was in the Marines and we partied like rock stars with the Marines for 3 days. Best Girlie Road Trip EVER!

Sweet Mother of God....

OK--color me crazy, but I lost my mind when I heard the news today.

That woman who just gave birth to the 8 babies out in Cali? She has 6 MORE KIDS AT HOME?????????????????WTF??????????????HOLY HELL?????????WHAT THE????????

Let's take a leeeeeeetle walk down the old ETHICS highway here shall we? What Doctor (quack, nut case) would actually give a woman fertility treatments--knowing full well that multiples are the usual outcome--to a woman who already has SIX kids???? I think that license to practise should be thrown out the window--I just don't know--maybe she found some crazy "all for the babies" Dr--or maybe she lied out her ass--I don't know. But no decent Dr. would do that sort of thing. And I personally think she just got "dumped" onto Kaiser Medical to handle the problem once the shit went down--I don't blame that group much.

Now this woman did not have six older kids and this is one of those "Cougar wants to give her new boy toy a baby" families--but a YOUNG woman who already has SIX kids??? God in heaven I cannot even wrap my freaking mind around that crap.

She lives with her mommy and daddy--and the Today Show made it seem like the baby daddy really wasn't in the picture (man I hope that is wrong). Grandpa says that they have some huge house somewhere that they are going to live in where they will never be found--umm, yeah. I saw a pic of what you are living in now--and I'm guessing there are at least NINE of you living in it now--I would have made the move a long time ago.

"No one will find us"? Yeah right--until you start needing all the free shit or the Duggars come and hunt down your ass for stealing their thunder. Do you think TLC has moved in for the kill yet??

Again--I'm stunned

Hello Mr. President and WTF?????????????

OK--so in respect for the new President, I have removed the "NObama" decal from my car window. He is my President for the next four years and I hope the best for him.

I fired up CNN.com to watch the inaug. at work. I was hoping to be inspired and given a message of some hope for our country's future. I was happy to witness history, but I didn't feel much more than "meh" about his speech--it's already been said, now it's time to "show me".

I was going to turn off the "show" and get back to work when I decided to just let the poem and prayers run in the background--so "glad" I did. The poem didn't make much sense and I didn't really care, but the benediction totally PISSED ME OFF.

The prayer started off on the right foot--but was that man channeling Rev. Wright at the end? WHAT THE HELL was "when all that are WHITE embrace what is RIGHT" about?

Millions of white people put Obama in the White house--millions of white people worked tirelessly on his campaign--why in the hell did he have to ruin what should have been a day of celebration and joining of ALL AMERICANS by playing the race card?

And for "Yellow getting to mellow" go ahead and piss off the Asian population while you are at it.

Getting a new President was going ok for me until that moment--the race card is NEVER a card well played.

12" Should usually be a good thing right?

But not when it's snow....add that to 3 more inches tonight and 35-40 MPH winds for blizzard conditions and I am OFFICIALLY over winter!

And it's only Jan 12th. Blech

2009

Well, here we are! 2009, a fresh start, a new year. I hope that this year is a great one for EVERYONE.

I don't make "resolutions", they are only meant to be broken and forgotten--but I do hope to work on my attitude and health this year. I feel I've become a bit of a cranky pants over the last year. I've been under a lot of stress, but we have found a way to survive it and I have to be grateful and turn it over to God that we will continue to "make it".

The stress has taken a toll and I am determined to find a way to get that under control--besides the bottle of wine I have been known to put away on occasion ;p

I want to spend more quality time with quality people--and get rid of the negative people. I got too wrapped up in the "drama" of people who really have no drama, they are clueless in the workings of the "Real world"--and when they get trhown back out into that world, they are going to be in for a RUDE awakening. But that is not my problem anymore--I'm gone from it. They are decent people, but they just don't live my reality and I don't have anything in common with them anymore.

My "quality" people know who they are. I am grateful for such fun people in my life. They "get" me. It's ok if we don't talk for days, we fall right back into the routine, there is not the need to be all up in each other's crap all the time--"neediness" is not in the vocabulary--they are strong women, they stand on their own and don't need the approval of a group to make it thru the day. I love them dearly!

Life isn't perfect for them either, we bitch to each other about it, do something and move on--we "deal", we coach each other on how to cope, but we all make our own decisions and go on with the business of living a good life. YEAH US!!!

OK--I'm rambling in my own mental way--but that's ok. My wish for all of you is health, happiness and peace for 2009!

In Loving Memory....

"Bud"
June 5, 1939 - December 27, 2006

High Flight
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untresspassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

Pilot Officer Gillespie Magee
No 412 squadron, RCAF
Killed 11 December 1941

Ending "Normal"

Today is December 26th--as of 2006, that day will always mark the end of "normal". You see, that was the last day I talked to my (step)dad, the last day he was alive.

December 27th 2006, Bud was killed in a plane crash in Mt. Gilead, OH. Bud had been in my life since I was 14 years old, my mom and he were married for over 20 years. He was there for all the big events in my life and he replaced a father who disappeared from the lives of me and my brothers and sister. He was a gentle giant of a man 6'5" and skiiny as a rail--but he filled the room with his laugh and smile. He looked like a giant amongst us small "Mitchell" kids and my Mom is only 5'2" on a good day. It was quite the sight to see.

I got the call that evening of December 27th--we had just sat down to dinner. The phone rang and I answered--it was my Mom. "Amy, is (DH) home with you?" I could tell something was wrong. She asked again if I had someone home with me. I said yes, DH was here, what's going on? My Mom broke down crying and told me there had been an accident--the plane went down and Bud was gone. The highway patrol was with her at her work and they were taking her home. I needed to come out to the house right away.

All I remeber was falling down onto the couch, the plate in my hand fell onto the table. Dh kept saying, what is wrong, what is wrong? I could barely get the words out of my mouth. I sent DD out of the room. My Mom was a mess, I had to be the one to call my brother's and sister and let them know. How I made those calls, I have no idea--I just went numb. My brother's were in shock--I told them to come home. I didn't reach my sister, but I had to tell her DH--and I was glad that he would be the one to tell her, because Marisa was the closest to Bud and I just could not bear to hear her cry right then.

I then went into a "do something mode"--I had too. I'm the oldest, I'm a Virgo, I had to "fix it", I had to make it right.

That drive to my Mom's was the longest of my life--but we made it in record time. her friends had begun to gather at the house. I walked into the kitchen, saw her face and I lost it--but I pulled myself together so I could get the whole story. I knew my mom was in shock--so I called the Dr. Neighbor to see if he could get her something. Then I got the number for the Coroner and Highway patrol in Mt. Gilead so I could get the story from them.

The details are too horrible and too fresh, I sit here and cry just reliving them in my head. But how does a plane with a pilot with 6000 flight hours and another pilot who was United Airlines retired at the helm just fall out of the sky? The FAA says they must have done something wrong--but the wreckage was too severe to give many clues. This flight was a simple insurance "flight check", but it ended the lives of 2 men and destroyed the lives of many others.

The next few weeks were a blur, but I had things to handle: a funeral to help plan, insurance companies to contact, a family to comfort and trying to keep from losing my mind.

We didn't have a body to bury--the FAA held him for a second autopsy--but we had direct cremation. A giant of a man, placed into one small square urn and little/smaller boxes for each of us kids. I have barely glanced at the Urn in my Mom's room, I cannot bring myself to take my box home--I cannot steel myself from the flood of emotion that overwhelms me when I think about it.

I still miss him every day. DD has Bud's harmonica, she keeps it on a special shelf next to a dove from one of the floral arrangements from the funeral home. Every once in a while, she plays it--Bud was teaching her how before he died--I still stop in my tracks at the sound and my heart breaks again.

The first year was spent "doing" and "asking" and trying to deal with the FAA and find out "why"--and dealing with all of those "firsts" without Bud there. This second year seems to have been harder--the stuff that needs to get "done" is done, there had been nothing to keep us pre-occupied. There are only the memories and the sudden "gut punch" that hits you when you know how great it would have been for Bud to be here--or how much he loved doing things--or what he would have said in that occasion.

We laugh a little bit more than we cry, we show the new babies in the family pictures of Papa and tell them who he is, we look at small planes going overhead and we don't always shudder.

We have a new "normal" now.