Monday, May 21, 2012

How to behave at public events.....

I realize that our world has become nothing but a bunch of self absorbed, egocentric, narcissists, but I am going to call out some of these people on their shit --- and so should everyone else.

When you are in the movie theater and the movie is playing: SHUT THE FUCK UP!  no one cares about your problems, your moms, your kids, your ex etc--this is a MOVIE, that I have paid MEGA bucks to attend and I don't want to hear your stories.  If I wanted that, I would have asked you out for drinks to discuss the crazy in your life in detail.  The movie theater is NOT the place for it.

When attending a graduation, wedding, dance recital, school play, please follow the steps below:
1: Enter the event wearing APPROPRIATE CLOTHES.  If you are not aware what is appropriate, ask someone, but I can ASSURE you that stinky tennis shoes, jeans with holes, your best NASCAR shirt, your ball cap etc have NO place at any of these events. This is the time to show respect for all of the hard work that the Graduates, dancers, performers have put into doing this event--if you cannot even put on decent clothes to show that respect--STAY HOME

2: Go to the bathroom BEFORE the event begins--getting up and down in the middle of an event is distracting and RUDE.  That is what intermission is for.  If  you cannot find it in your heart to sit still for 1 hour, head to the nearest physicians office and get checked for Adult ADD or something--it's not asking a lot out of you to behave yourself for a short period of time.

3: Parents with small children and those with medical issues who will NOT be able to sit down and be still should sit towards the back or off to the side of the seating area so that they disturb the LEAST amount of people with their needing to get up, passing around sippy cups, handing out snacks, bathroom runs etc.  Yeah, your kids might be cute--TO YOU--but the rest of us find them to be a big old pain in the ass.  (Side bar:  I have a kid--I've walked in your shoes--I hired a damn babysitter when I could afford to, or I followed the above advice so I didn't piss other people off--I NEVER plopped myself and my kid down in the middle of a 30 seat aisle and crawled over all those people multiple time.)

4: DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT repeatedly stand up to take pictures/record film etc..grab a quick shot from your seat if you must as your graduate walks across the stage--but that is IT!  This is NOT an appropriate time for a photo opp and you are blocking the view of the other people around you--RUDE!

AND the number one rule for not getting your ass kicked:  TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE--unless your name includes the title of PRESIDENT of some country OR you are waiting for an organ transplant, you are NOT THAT IMPORTANT.  The call can wait. So can the text, the tweet, the check in--whatever.  THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU! 

People please, show a little respect--when adults do the right thing, children will follow their lead.  Think about how hard these people have worked, how much time and money has gone into this production/wedding/show etc--and put away your need to be the center of attention for just a little while and give it to someone who deserves it.