Survivor's Guilt

Well, the hammer came down at work yesterday. They say that the layoffs are temporary due to lack of work. 4 people that I have come to rely on were shown the door. I am the only person left in my department. I just feel sick.

I am lucky that I am the only one in this office that does not do sales alone--I am a Project Manager, but I also run the office, do the IT, deal with the every day BS etc. Some days the office wouldn't even be open if I was not here. So I think that was my "saving grace". Only 1 of the 4 who got let go had seniority over me (by less than a year), but I feel AWFUL that she was on the chopping block.

They say that the layoffs are for 4-6 weeks until our busy season picks back up--and God I hope they are right. Not only for my friends, but also for my sanity. We all took a 20% reduction (4 day work weeks) earlier this year and that has not changed. So I get to do the work of 3.5 people--I am the only PM for the whole company and I have to do 2 days in the ordering/art department--all in a 4 day work week.

I am grateful to be working, but I just don't know how I am going to (1) get it all done and (2) Keep it all straight. The art department part is a VERY small part of my current job, but it's a huge part of a client's order--I screw that up, we have nothing but pissed off clients. I'm kinda scared! Ordering hardware--pffffht--no big deal, graphics and all the "crazy" that go along with that--TERRIFYING!

Please say some prayers for the 4 let go--they are angry/pissed off and I hope they are still available if/when the callbacks happen. They all have families who relied on them for income--this is so horrible and I feel so guilty.....