Happy Birthday......

I know I didn't call you when you put your new cell number in the card you sent. I know I didn't send you a card for your birthday. I just don't know how to talk to you after 2 years.

The hurt and anger is still there and then out of the blue, you sent the card for my birthday. I didn't know what to think or how to respond, so I didn't.

But I hope that you had a great 40th birthday too. I hope that you have made new friends who showered you with love like mine did for me. I hope you have found some happiness in your life. I hope you have finally pulled your shit together and removed that very large chip from your shoulder.

I hope nothing but the best for you--I can't let you back in, I can't try and fix you anymore--I don't have the energy to give you and your issues. I miss my God daughter and pray that all is well for her. But I cannot let you back in.

Happy Birthday.

Never Forget............

I remember having the Today Show as I was getting ready for work. I had just gone back to work part time and I didn't have to be in until 10:00. I was combing out my hair when Matt Lauer said "A plane has just hit the World Trade Center". I thought to myself, what kind of a dumbass do you have to be to hit something that big?

When the second plane hit--as I was watching the TV--seeing it happen live--I screamed. I ran in and grabbed my DD, and ran into wake up DH. (He was working 3rds at the time and was none to happy that I woke him up). I remember telling him that we were under attack and New York was getting it bad. We sat there in shock watching it all happen. I called into work and said, I'll be there when you see me--and told them what was going on--they had no idea what was happening.

I remember holding on to my 5 month old daughter wondering what the hell kind of world had I brought her into--and wondering if she would even see her first birthday. I remember making it into work and taking a small TV so we could keep up on events--and I remember watching those towers fall--and I remember the tears we shed in my office as we hugged each other.

I remember DH being off work for a few days--since all planes were grounded, his company wasn't operating their planes--they had to switch over to trucks--what a nightmare.

I remember the SILENCE at night--we lived in a flight path for Toledo Express and to hear NOTHING coming or going except the occasional F-15 was un-nerving in the quiet.

I remember seeing the faces of people desperately standing in the streets holding signs of their loved ones who never came home that day.

I remember the memorial of those who died--seeing their faces flash across my TV.

I remember the police and fire personnel who selflessly ran in to certain death to try to save those in those towers.

7 years seems to have flown, but I REMEMBER........

I hope we NEVER FORGET TO REMEMBER.........