Picture it....December 2011
You start to wonder why your husband of almost 23 years starts physically turning off and putting away his laptop after 4 years of it sitting on the same end table. You start to wonder when you husband--who never had his phone on him--it always layed out on the counter on the charger--he didn't pay attention to it...now NEVER has the phone out of his site, the ringer is turned off and it's always in a pocket or in his coat. When you are around him and you hear his phone beep, but he never checks who it is or what that sound is...
He starts up tanning again in earnest...starts making plans to go out and doesn't invite you to go or is totally vauge as to where things will be and who will be there..and he goes alone.
You start to wonder when you receive more Christmas presents at one time than you have over the last 3 years......
You go to pay for cell phone bill and you notice that 15 days in your billing cycle (out of 31) that your husband is thisclose to being out of texts...and this is a guy who used to barely use 100 total in the same amount of time.....
You start to wonder when there are comments made on his Facebook page by people he doesn't work with, that are local and he's never mentioned to you.
SOOOO...as any normal person would do....I stop wondering and I start investigating.....beginning with all the texts....hmmm...I see a pattern here on a few numbers...wonders who they are....so I call....and much to my (non) surprize, it's another woman--her home phone, her cell phone and her WORK phone..all over the texting and the phone usage.....
Then you check the bank statements....hmmmmm....lunch over by her work...on a day the he is OFF--at a place that would be unlike him to eat in at....Oh and no...don't tell me it was take out becasue I saw the first charge--you know, the one they run thru before you put a tip on it? Then I saw the final charge with the tip come thru....stupid man
So you start looking into things and you see that all of his passwords have been changed for Facebook and such....you used to know them--heck he used to leave FB up and running all the time.....must be using that little FB chat feature to keep in touch with his friends(s).
He starts wondering why you are so distant......you say it's nothing while you keep on hoping that you are DEAD WRONG, but you just know in your gut that you are right.
So this goes on for a few weeks....and you cannot take it anymore--especially after you have seen the hotel reservation made for a King Suite, for 2 people (pretty dumb to leave that in your "trash" folder asshole) that he had made for when he is going out of town for something for his "hobby". So you call the gal pal and ask her what her plans are for that night--I play dumb too, like it was a wrong number and I just hang up. She totally plays dumb--but she gets a hold of your hubby to let him know that the jig is up! Nothing is said to me by him--but off he goes anyway--he comes home the same night, but what if I hadn't called and said anything? What would have really happened?
So a few more days go by and you start to get pissed, so you go pull out his computer...you look and you see that his webpage history has been cleared, all the search history cleared...everything--you even look at his trash folder--there are some pictures of interest in there, but I cannot prove where they came from--Chick posing on bikes--not this same chick mind you...but one wonders where he has gotten the ideas for me to post by his car in my heels.
I look into downloading a key stroke logger....but nothing is getting past our Antivirus or Firewall--damn me beign so efficient...but I DON"T clear my history....lets see what this does, shall we?
AMAZING, that night I get his computer shoved in my face by him...with all sorts of WTF'S! and WTH are YOU doing being thrown around.
So I just lay it on the line and ask who the hell HEATHER is.....well, that sure got things going.
Did you know that you need to share your phone number with SOMEONE who works the cashier line at your work's lunch room--not even for your comapny, so it's not like you would really get to know this person--but you really SHOULD give her your phone number...just so she can "keep in touch" and let you know how htings are going--because SHE'S only a person you see for less than 10 minutes per weekend? Really--you have formed such a strong bond only talking to this person as you pass in the lunch line...that you can call her at her other job and talk and call her on her cell? Oh what? She's married too?? OOOOOOHHHHHH,, yeah, you all must only really just be friends then....
I'M NOT FUCKING STUPID!
However, according to YOU, I am the worst person on the face of the earth because I DARE to sneak around and see what YOU are up to.....Why do I have to sneak around, why can't I jsut come out and ask you? Well, for one thing asshole, don't believe you anymore, your actions since after Thanksgiving have spoken more than your words!
If I were to trust you, you would have told me right from the beginning what was going on with your FRIEND, you tell me about evey last detail about shit I don't care about from all of your other "FRIENDS"--but this one NEVER once has been mentioned until YOU GOT BUSTED.
But I am the bitch who had ruined it all? You are DONE with ME? 23 years down the drain because I was checking up on you?
My mother tells me that this is a very dangerous age for men...especially men who are lost and struggling to find there place again after change and chaos in their work and financial life (hmmm sound familiar?). I guess we'll have to see where this goes....
Right now, we don't even speak.....I don't know how I'll ever forgive you for the hateful things you said to me Monday night.